The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
is wine microwaveable?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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