i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
