You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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