She announced her abortion via fbk
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
