I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize