Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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