it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
This house was built for laser tag.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
