So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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