i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
