If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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