Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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