i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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