before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
