new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
