...so i touched it.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
