Me. At least after what I've been through.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
