And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
