I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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