Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
