Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
