My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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