Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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