i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
