PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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