come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
