i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
