Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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