Fuck appropriateness.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
