My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
