That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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