i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
