Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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