I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
40s are totally the cure
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
