How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The adults are the big ones right?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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