Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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