After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
