Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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