I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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