I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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