I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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