I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
