I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Someone signed my nipple.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
