She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i think my tv is drunk
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
