Midget sex pt 2 tonight
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So squirting runs in the family.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
