We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
