Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
