it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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