I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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