We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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