How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
