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WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Randomize
