Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
