We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
