were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
