hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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