There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I AM VODKA MAN
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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