you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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